KOTM Parenting Class

We have started taking a three week parenting class through Marsha at Kids On The Move. I have found it extremely helpful and wanted to write down all of the notes from the first class so I can't misplace them. Some of this won't make sense so if anyone has any questions, let me know. Otherwise, this is more for my own records. I will add the rest of my notes as we complete the classes.

Favorite Words: "My Job." "You NEED to Listen." "Excuse Me." "All Done."
(Tone and expression are very important "No..." Straight forward. Not angry or sweet. Keep emotion out of it.)
3x5 List:
*What do you want? Not what you DON'T want. (Children do know what they want. Know what YOU want.) "I want him to sit down." Not-"I don't want him to stand in his chair." Think positives.
*Blocking - Block from front, they agree by backing up. Pull down rather than pushing, they resist.
*Two-Time Rule - Third time, help him do what you ask. They need to touch the object. Take their hand and help them to do it, sit down, lie down, walk, etc on their own so they consent to the choice. (If they are throwing a tantrum on the ground and go limp, make it not so comfortable for them on the ground by placing your foot under them and nudging. They may be more willing to stand up and make the choice on their own.)
*When a child is not listening - no eye contact, no talk (babble), no touch.
*Child Has to AGREE - place hand in yours (High 5) "O.K."
*Respond to the FIRST positive communication. (Or screaming WILL follow.)
*Use the TIMER to make time tangible. The timer is for something good, not a punishment. (Children are very literal. Timing keeps us honest.)
*If you don't want the answer to be "NO," Don't Ask! (Example: "Will you go brush your teeth?" Say, "We need to go brush your teeth.")
*When kids are fighting over a toy, don't become part of the fight. Say, "Let Go." (show no emotion) placing your hand on the toy and letting their hands be the last to touch it. Encourage children to take turns passing the toy back and forth to encourage sharing.
*Use child's name in a positive way. Use noises/words such as "Hey" "Shhht" etc instead of over using their name or they will just end up ignoring when you do say their name.
*If a child ignores you, answer for them. ("Do you want ___?" No answer. "No, ok." If you answered wrong they will let you know and it will teach them to answer for themselves.)
*Get the child into neutral or "yes mode". Give them options and choices for themselves to get them into the mode of saying yes.
*80% positive 20% corrective (teaching)
*If they can't do this WHAT CAN THEY DO? (We can't go outside right now, but we can do a puzzle!)
*If you take something away, REPLACE IT with something else.
*Don't let what they are doing work! (Whining, tantrum, hitting, etc.)
*Empower: You CAN have this, you CAN and that. Instead of "Do You Want...?" (Let them make choices, but narrow it down first to what applies. They can make a choice, verses a decision.)
*Children do NOT like being ACTED UPON. (Example: holding them down to wipe their face or forcing them to eat something.) Say "We NEED to go change you diaper. You're stinky!" Encourage them to make the choice to lay down. Yes mode, Two-time Rule, etc. Have a special toy or song for changing time, etc.
*Consistency is the KEY!
*Preventing is A LOT easier than fixing!

1 Rule: A child is not allowed to hurt themselves, others or destroy things.
~Routine with bedtime is a MUST! No negotiation!
~It's all about RESPECT. Respecting our children and in turn, them respecting us.
~We can not assume they can do anything differently.
~Empower children, (but don't give them the power.)
~If you aren't going to follow threw, don't bother saying it.
~Don't say, "Give it to me!" Because they might "give it to you." (punch)
~It is the way we Present, Respond and/or React. (We want to respond, not react.)
~If you respect their NO, they will respect your No.
~Don't ask them to do something from across the room, like "Come get your diaper changed." Go up to them and get their attention.
~If you are asking them not to do something, (example: don't climb on top of the table) don't make it fun getting down or stopping the behavior.
~Children don't want to be in control, it is too much work.
1. Know what you want.
2. Get them into Yes Mode.
3. First this, then that.
More Notes: Throwing food- have a place for him to put the food he doesn't want.
Diaper changing- set up all the supplies and do it the same each time. Have him come lay down and have a special toy that will keep him busy.
Don't coddle or pamper behavior that we don't want to support. (Example: When Cohen sees me and starts crying, don't comfort him, try to distract him instead and encourage him to focus on something else.)
We WANT COHEN TO FEEL SUCCESS!

Yeah for our TV shows!!!

So the work flow for Scott has been pretty slow/non existent for December and this month so far. It was slow this time last year too, plus the economy definitely hasn't helped. Scott has been looking into other options that may be more consistent and less of a head ache for him (and me for that matter). But, we have really been enjoying the time together as a family! We take turns getting up with Cohen each morning and making breakfast for each other. We have been working out together doing Yoga and taking turns on our elliptical. We have gone sledding (like the previous posts show) and we have had fun cooking together. We are also really excited our shows are back on!
We love 24, Smallville,







Terminator,

American Idol,

Gossip Girl,


















90210,

















Lost,














and Grey's Anatomy!














They have given us another fun and free thing to look forward to each night once Cohen goes down. We do feel so blessed with everything we have, I just hope the work picks up soon and/or a new opportunity works out sooner rather than later. But for now, we are making the best of it!

Winter Sunsets

There have been some gorgeous sunsets lately! Here are a few I caught on camera...

Sledding, Body Worlds and more sledding!

On Tuesday we took Cohen sledding for the first time!

My dad was here visiting from Colorado. We had so much fun with him while he stayed with us! Thanks for coming out dad!
Cohen loved it and even went on his own! He did awesome! I think he was really happy to be outside rather than cooped up inside.

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On Wednesday we went to Body Worlds with Jen and Carter.
It was so fascinating to us and I wasn't grossed out at all like I thought I would have been. It is so so amazing to see bodies preserved through plastination! It was incredible and interesting to see the muscles, tendons, arteries, organs, bones, etc in a learning setting that has its own reverence and shows the realism of what our bodies are. I can picture everything inside my leg in its place (and most of my body) and it makes me even more interested in the medical field.
It ends Sunday if you wanna go! Don't miss it, it's worth the money!
They are open 24 hours straight until then!*************************************************************************************
We went sledding again today at Rock Canyon Park.

Scott getting Cohen all set to go on his own!

He FLEW down the hill!

Even though he took several spills along the way, he wanted to do it again and again!
I was so proud of him! He was more brave than I was!He is going to be up there snowboarding with Scott before I know it!He loved it so much, it was hard to get him to leave!

Here is a little clip of Cohen flying down the hill, giggling the whole way and then running into me!

Scott went Snowboarding!

Scott and my brother Dustin went to Sundance together today. There was a lot of fresh powder! They had just been dieing to get up on the slopes!
Here is a video of my honey doing his thing! Good job baby!

Ringing in the New Year!

We had a great night celebrating the years end and the new beginning of 2009!
Jen and Carter invited us over for an awesome dinner! Jen did a great job making Alfredo pasta, french bread and authentic Olive Garden salad (my fave)! Chris and Ashley came too, along with some of their other friends.
We had tons of fun spending some time with them, like we always do!
Cohen just loved Dylan's bedroom and had so much fun sitting in his chair and jumping on his toddler bed (Cohen still has the bar up on his crib). He thought it was so fun to be able to climb up into bed on his own, and to get off! (Crazy haired child!)

After dinner we dropped Cohen off to my sister Chantelle who was sweet enough to keep him while we went to a movie!
We met up with Scott's cousin Ashley and her husband Regan. We love them and don't hang out with them enough! My mom, Kay and Dustin came as well! We saw Valkery, which wasn't the most uplifting New Years start, but was a really good movie and it made me think about how much has happened in our history that is so incredible. We truly have so much to be thankful for and countless people to be thankful to.

After the movie my brother Dustin, Scott and I went back to our house to put Cohen down and to ring in the New Year with Chantelle and her adorable kiddies Kaden and Desi.
It was a fun night with family and friends! A great ending and beginning!
HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYBODY!

Cohen and Charly

Today I kept my friend Ashley's little girl for her while she worked. Cohen and I had so much fun with Charly (who is 2 and a half). She is so cute and kept saying the funniest things! She and Cohen played pretty well together, which is hard to find a playmate at this age where it is hard to share! They had so much fun taking turns on Cohen's new bouncing Zebra.

Charly loved the dogs and threw the ball for them at least thirty times! They loved her too! She kept saying, "Oh man, puppies scary! Oh man!" and then laughing!Cohen got in on the ball action as well!

We are happy to have Charly come and play anytime Ash! :)